Sombyr

Sombyr , 7 days ago

I hope this doesn't sound aggressive, but unless you're a man, you never had to venture very far on Lemmy to experience misogyny. If you ever mentioned you were a woman in any of the major instances and communities in any context except "I'm a woman and here's what I don't like about other women," you were gonna get misogynistic replies and a shocking amount of downvotes. It's just what happens when any internet community is dominated by a single gender I guess.
Lemmy's always been great about almost every other social issue, except sometimes trans issues and neurodivergence if you stepped out of the communities for it, but women's issues have always been an absolute train wreck around here.

Sombyr , 8 days ago

I keep luring them out by accident just by bringing up any kind of women's issue at all. Thankfully though, a quick report and they get banned from my instance real fast.

Sombyr , 14 days ago

Well it is Heathcliff. I'm not sure if I'm too autistic to know if everyone was avoiding pointing that out or if people really didn't know.

Sombyr , 22 days ago

Sounds like somebody's never been to Vermont.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

According to the quantum mechanical totalitarian principle, everything not forbidden is compulsory, so it must have happened. It's physics.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

lmao, this is unironically the reason one of my exs stared using Linux. Because I kept hyping it up so he figured it was a good bonding activity to learn it. To my knowledge he still uses it.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

Then allow me to introduce myself.
Not that I'm a Linux pro, but I at least know how to copy and paste terminal commands until I fix whatever problem I caused by copying and pasting terminal commands.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

I've learned the dumb way going for married people is always a bad idea regardless of the status of the marriage, so I must politely decline.
I'm an Ubuntu user anyway, so I'm unfortunately unfit for marriage in the first place.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

It is in fact really easy to tell the difference, you just hear more about the times people make the mistake because it's not noteworthy when somebody goes "that guy's just staring off into space" and is right. You also likely have a bigger emotional reaction, assuming you're a guy, to a woman mistakenly thinking a guy is staring at her and being wrong than you do the knowledge that women get stared at a lot, so it makes the first seem like it's happening more often.
I've lived on both sides (trans) and can tell you I didn't realize it was this common to get really obviously stared at by older men. And the older they are the more likely they are to do it, which is lucky, because I'm much less afraid of a 70 year old man doing anything to me than a 20-40 year old. I find the only thing I can do in that situation is to avoid looking them directly in the eyes, because they take that as a sign to approach.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

Agreed. And older women being creeps too needs to be talked about more. Pretransition, in 7th grade, I had a math teacher who tried to flirt with me and it made me horribly uncomfortable, but I could never talk to anybody about it because people would act like that was a good thing and I should feel good for it, and those who acknowledged it was a problem still told me I must have imagined it. I can say one good thing about being a woman is despite encountering creeps way more often, at least I'm allowed to be upset about it now.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

This seems to be the attitude of most I encounter nowadays. I think every friend I have who I've asked about their sexuality tend to reply "I dunno, I just like what I like."
It seems the labels are slowly starting to lose their use, which to me is a good thing. It means we're getting to the point where we don't need it to feel normal anymore because it's just normal by default. We're not quite there yet, but it shows we're moving in the right direction.
Not that people can't use labels if it makes them more comfortable, I'm just glad more people are starting not to need them because they're already accepted.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

Gen Z here.
People liked being part of in jokes nobody else understood. Eventually it evolved into creating jokes even you yourself weren't in on just to confuse the fuck out of people. Brings the satisfaction of seeing people not understanding the "in" joke and the additional satisfaction that they never will be in on it either.
The "that explains nothing" feeling when you see the origin is part of the joke.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

It is when I do it.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

I'm the "guess I'm crying now" kind of drunk.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

As a trans woman, it felt like a culture shock to go from being able to talk to guys about my interests without being constantly questioned pretransition, to now being quizzed and told I'm doing things wrong every time I mention a hobby of mine to 90% of guys, even well intentioned ones. They don't even realize they're doing it most of the time.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

I listen to metal to fall asleep. Weird as it may sound, listening to something that's higher energy than me is straight up exhausting to the point that it saps all my remaining energy and I just conk right out.
I especially like Japanese metal for it, because not being able to understand the words means I don't get focused on the meaning of the song and stay up thinking about it.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

Probably, just haven't found any I'm super fond of.

Sombyr , 1 month ago

As a member of gen Z, you likely don't notice it because you're not part of the generation being made fun of. It's a pretty constant issue and it didn't magically stop with millennials. It's to the point where many older members of gen Z insist they're actually millennials in an attempt to gain bownie points with the older generations by not being part of the generation they hate (which never works BTW.)

Sombyr , 2 months ago

I do this, but to myself. I decide I'm gonna make a specific meal, and if I don't want it I'll inevitably find something I want more and make that instead.

Sombyr , 2 months ago

Breaking Benjamin - Torn in Two with a Boner

Sombyr , 2 months ago

Funny thing, the one job I ever worked before I couldn't work anymore I was supposed to do this, but I'd just shut up the second they said no, never once did the whole thing, and got "demoted" to janitor for it. Turns out the janitors get paid more and they had to give me a raise. I unfortunately had to quit before I got that raise though due mental disabilities getting in the way.

Sombyr , 2 months ago

You can drink it through her septum hole.

Sombyr , 2 months ago

Does it count if I stopped reading after the 3rd paragraph because it gave me bad anxiety due to bad memories? Because I want to know if I should try my best to give it a full read through anyway.

Sombyr , 2 months ago

I identify as white simply because I recognize I have privileges other races don't have as often.
You could be more specific and say I'm by coincidence a very large part Sami, but I'm not part of the culture, all my fully Sami relatives are really far back in the family tree and I've never known them, and people who look at me aren't going to see anything more than a white person, and thus I'm afforded the privileges of being white, so therefore, why call myself anything other than white?

Sombyr , 2 months ago

I misread "talking shit to a soldier" as "taking a shit in the shower" and was like "Yeah, I'd be mad too."

Sombyr , 2 months ago

Barding too hard. In every sense you can interpret that.

Sombyr , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

Because body shaming circle-chan is funny.
Edit: I knew this joke wouldn't land before I even hit enter, but now I must own it.

Sombyr , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

I don't think that's the charitable perspective at all tbh. A charitable perspective would be that acknowledging "true love" isn't a thing and all love can end is a healthy way to look at things. If it's an all prevailing thought that you never stop thinking about or letting go of, not so good, but if you're just keeping in mind that even the best relationships can fail, and nothing is fated, then you're far less likely to overlook fatal issues in your relationship that would lead you to staying in a toxic one. And wanting an easy way out if it does become toxic is never a bad thing, because like it or not, that can happen at any time, no matter how compatible you were before.

My ex and I had an amazing relationship for a long time. I thought she and I might be fated to be together. But one day, things just started going down hill. Life stresses started building up, expectations of what we wanted from each other started to diverge, and we started fighting, a lot. Still, we wanted to believe it was fate, and that it'd work out. We had so much in common, we'd done great so far, so we should be able to make it through. But things only got worse and worse.

The thing that finally broke it up was when my now girlfriend tried her best to attempt a polyamorous relationship with us, and ended up realizing it was toxic as fuck and stealing me away from it.

In my new relationship, I've found it a powerful tool to remember always that there is no fate, something could happen and we could break up. I'll enjoy it as long as it lasts, maybe forever if it does last that long, but letting myself believe that's definitely gonna happen just isn't healthy.

EDIT: Well whada ya fuckin' know...

Sombyr , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

I've got a bit of a hangover, or maybe I'm still drunk, I dunno, but when I look at the center of the image and focus, all the lines go straight. I'm also on a phone, so maybe not enough is in my peripheral vision to completely fuck me up.

EDIT: It was definitely the alcohol. I'm more sober now and I can't do it anymore.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

Why?

Sombyr , 3 months ago

I'm not a bottom. I'm an antitop.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

I'd love to, but unfortunately I annihilate on contact.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

The meme is satirical. It's making fun of TERFs who think they can always tell a trans woman from a cis woman from appearance alone because they think they all look a certain way. Hence the "We can always tell" at the end, which is a line commonly spoken by transphobes.
The joke being that this is a ridiculously over the top example of somebody "identifying" a TERF by appearance alone, even though that's not actually possible, just like it's not possible for trans people either. A TERF cannot refute this meme without pointing out the flaw in their own logic, and that's funny.

Sombyr , 3 months ago (edited 3 months ago)

That's kind of the point of the meme. They're "identifying" a TERF by appearance alone the same way TERFs "identify" trans people by appearance alone. Neither is actually possible to do, and the only way a TERF can refute the meme is to point out their logic in believing you can judge people by appearance is flawed. The joke isn't in the appearance bashing, the joke is in the that appearance bashing is clearly invalid and the more people who point that out, the easier it is to defend trans people when the same thing happens to them.
I can't guarantee that was OPs intent in posting the meme, but it was certainly the original point of the meme.

Edit: Just realized I replied to the same person twice with the same thing. Probably didn't need to do that. Sorry.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

I wasn't getting that vibe at all. Feeling sad because your wife is angry isn't "wife bad." It's empathy. The meme just seems to be a joke about using unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with it causing a cycle of misery.
In other words, my interpretation of the meme is more along the lines of acknowledging the self destructive cycles marriages often fall into via humor.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

I miss r/lies. That was my favorite gimmick sub.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

Also, if they're repeatedly getting up on areas you don't want them to, it probably means they don't have enough perches they are allowed up on in the area. Cat's naturally like to perch to observe their territory. If they're getting up on the kitchen table for instance, put perches or even a whole cat tree near it. Eventually they'll learn to use the new perch instead of the table, sometimes even naturally if the perch is higher and more comfortable.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

Every time I hear this, I imagine somebody jumping into a belly flop, but instead of falling just yeeting over the horizon at the speed if light.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

Batman, with prep time.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

The sentence, however, is still death.

Sombyr , 4 months ago

Kerbal landing technique? Like smashing into the surface max speed because you somehow managed to decouple your only engine due to poor preplanning? At least that's how I play it.

Sombyr , 3 months ago

Not yet.

Sombyr , 4 months ago

I've always been paranoid when somebody lets me info dump that they're secretly attracted to me and that it's gonna make things super awkward.
Starting to get real suspicious of my wife...

Sombyr , 4 months ago

I've been really skeptical of that anime since reading the manga and dropping it after way too many loli rape jokes and having somebody piss themselves practically every other chapter to the point where it was clearly some kind of fetish thing.

Is this like Usagi Drop where they just straight up removed the disgusting creepy parts? Because otherwise I'm staying a thousand feet away from that.

Sombyr , 4 months ago

The Usagi Drop comparison was just because the manga for that got incredibly creepy and disgusting toward the end, so when they adapted it to the anime they just straight up cut that part out. As a result, everyone who recommends the anime will tell you to never, ever read the manga.

I was just wondering if they removed the creepy parts of this manga when they adapted it to an anime. I liked the manga, but after a while it got straight up disgusting with the kind of stuff it tried to play for laughs, including one of the girls turning into a guy straight up trying to rape another one of the girls. And that was far from a one off occurrence. At some point the manga ended up stopping just short of being straight up hentai, and that's where I dropped it. I wanted to read the cute manga about a guy learning what it's like to be a young girl, not a borderline hentai with nothing else to show.

Judging by the fact that the anime has gained a lot more popularity in communities like this, it seemed likely to me that the anime removed that stuff, and if it did I'd be happy to check it out.

Sombyr , 4 months ago

It's good to hear the anime captures some of the best parts of the manga. The manga actually released really early into my transition, so back then I latched on to it for all the reasons you described. Getting turned into a girl unwillingly is a really common fantasy for trans people because it removes the aspect of being responsible for your choice. I certainly fantasized about it a lot so I could tell my at the time unsupportive dad "hey, I wasn't the one who did this. Maybe it was an act if god. Guess we gotta accept it now."

It was also really great to watch a character slowly learn what life as a girl was like while I myself was doing the same thing. Made me feel better about not understanding certain things, especially because at the time I didn't have any women, friends or family, who I could ask sensitive questions to.

I may have exaggerated a bit with the hentai remark, but it did feel like the author eventually got bored of the original point of the manga and just started coming up with increasingly convoluted ways to put the characters in sexual situations. I'm also a lot more sensitive to stuff like that because of things that happened to me and people I know as a kid, so I may be overreacting a bit too. The beginning of it though was pretty tame even in the manga.

If the anime let's me relive reading it for the first time, I'll certainly give it a shot at some point. I did love what it was going for at the beginning.