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balderdash9 , (edited )
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I think you've proven my point as you're contradicting yourself.

And if God did exist, we think God is a total dick

The Abrahamic conception of God is of an infinitely perfect being who's attributes--viz., omnipotence, omniscience, omnibenevolence, omnipresence-- are maximally unified in that one being. So to suppose that this God exists but then deny his omnibenevolence is a logical contradiction of the definition of the Abrahamic God. (This is akin to, for example, supposing that a square-circle exists.) If God does exist, but he isn't omnibenevolent, then this is no longer the Abrahamic God. Which is why I argued that you are not "taking the starting assumption seriously" in my earlier comment.

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