I get you’re joking, but just in case there’s any earnestness there and you’ve been hurting your own feelings lately. I’d like you to know that acknowledging self loathing is honest introspection and a good first step, the self loathing itself is more like self harm and generally dishonest. If there is any honesty in it, try and practice more self compassion.
Shit’s tough out here, you matter and people care about you. Keep going friend :)