Look, no one is ungrateful for the work you and Dessalines are doing. I get it - I helped run a large-scale federated open source social network over a decade ago. It's an amazing, incredible experience - but, it's also grueling, demanding work, and community members and users can be incredibly fickle. Especially when it comes to living off of donations, and having to carve out a technical stack all by yourself. That shit is hard.
Here's the thing: your users, your community, your efforts in general, pretty much ride or die by the people who run instances of your software, advocate for your platform, and develop apps and tools for your ecosystem. If something is broken at a foundational level, it's ultimately your responsibility to decide what to do about it.
Code is not the only fruit of someone's labor here. Your community is doing a lot of labor for you too, and making even less money doing so. At some point, if people don't think their needs are being met to keep running their communities and stave off the worst of the worst, it's going to tank people's confidence. People will leave. And they'll talk on the way out. Optics matter.
I'm not saying you have to drop everything to accommodate some random concern right away. But some of the responses you've given to people that had reasonable asks, that had reasonable use-cases in ensuring smooth operations of instances in compliance of laws...some of your reactions are terrible.
If your default when someone asks you about GDPR compliant features is to scream at people, demand that they do the work for you, make excuses that you're too busy, or belittle someone because you disagree with someone, you're doing community management ass-backwards, and you're burning away community goodwill every time you do it. It's hostile and demoralizing, and people will come to resent you for it.
If you have such high demands then you shouldnt use it, and switch to another platform instead. And yes you are clearly stoking an attack against Lemmy, I wonder why you hate our project so much.
See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Someone asks for something, points out problematic behavior, gives feedback on how something could be better, and you lean into the myopic belief that this is somehow an attack or an effort to undermine you. My brother in Christ, if there is any ill-will towards how you do things, it is because of your own behavior, not on the merits of your project, your political alignment, or who you are as a person.
I don't hate your project, but you need to pull your head out of your ass, and realize that you're dropping the fucking ball on trust and safety. People hosting instances aren't going to stick around forever if you keep defaulting to hostility.