The fact that the issue exists after 4 years clearly shows that you are in fact blowing it out of proportion. Actual issues that affect large numbers of people running servers end up being addressed by people contributing to the project. Lemmy is an open source project that anybody can contribute to, and fix the issues that are affecting them. The fact that this hasn't happened shows that this issue is not as high priority as you want to make it out to be.
This doesn't mean this isn't a real issue that should be fixed at some point, but it's simply not the show stopper you paint to be.
So yeah, you are absolutely doing a hack job here.