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Special ability: don't give a fuck

Image description:
Pokemon card showing an agressive goose.
Powerups:
Intimidate, can only be activated during spring. Show those heretics who’s boss. Deal 1 extra damage for each month the opponent has been out of combat.
Shit everywhere, you only eat grass but you are not very good at digesting grass. Deal 20 extra damage to opponents using the picnic card.
Weakness: Neck grab
Resistance: Fear
Extra description: The perfect counter to the park habitat. Eat grass, shit on seats, multiply, fly away from fuckery.

venusaur ,
@venusaur@lemmy.world avatar

No retreat cost. This person Pokémons.

mononomi OP ,

Ya got me

Viking_Hippie ,

Plus if you fuck with them, the Letterkenny gang is coming for you.

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/bfe93291-dae4-413b-b7f6-18419322419d.jpeg

meowMix2525 ,

Some idiot decided it would be a good idea to set up apartments buildings all around artificial ponds that serve absolutely no purpose but to look pretty and be breeding grounds for both mosquitoes and these obnoxious bastards. No skating in the winter, no swimming in the summer, maybe fishing but I doubt they're stocked with anything. Yet still, early morning, late night, mid afternoon; every waking moment of my life is plagued by canadian geese honking and shitting everywhere only to prove that they are the loudest creature in the vicinity.

floral_toxicity ,

Beautifully written. Your words are what millions of people across North America are thinking.

pezhore ,
@pezhore@lemmy.ml avatar

Ah, the cobra chicken. A majestic beast.

deegeese ,
@deegeese@sopuli.xyz avatar

My people!

can ,

Yes! Their shit looks like something that was pulled out of a clogged lawn mower.

RagnarokOnline ,

Fuck these monsters. Government won’t even let the homeless eat these little monsters, so they have no dignity and purpose beyond harassing good-natured citizens.

Semi-Hemi-Demigod ,
@Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social avatar

If you've got a problem with Canada gooses you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate.

thanks_shakey_snake ,

Lemmykenny

RagnarokOnline ,

I guess I better figure it out…

DosDude ,
@DosDude@retrolemmy.com avatar

My dog shows no fear of geese, and will gladly scare them away for me. Easy passage for me, and another weakness for them. No barks needed, just a determined sprint.

r0ertel ,

I worked at a large corporate campus with water ponds and fountains all over, but in the spring, the geese would do all the stuff on the card. They hired a guy with two German Shepherds who would stroll around and let his dogs do what dogs do and there were no geese after a short while. I wanted his job. Also, the dogs looked about as happy as dogs can be.

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