solarbabies

solarbabies , 2 hours ago

Google Messages app already falls back to SMS automatically if RCS fails. SMS is not going anywhere.

solarbabies , 1 month ago

what do you mean Telecoms companies aren't allowed to add E2EE? there is no such regulation I'm aware of.

besides, how would Apple have been supporting E2EE in iMessage for so long if Telecoms companies weren't allowed?

could be a motivation issue, but not a regulation issue.

solarbabies , 1 month ago

yes I know Apple isn't a Telecoms company but you need a SIM from a Telecoms company to use iMessage. RCS runs over the Internet too, yet you also need a SIM card for that. Also Telecoms companies aren't designing message protocols anymore. I don't think you know what you're talking about.

solarbabies OP , 2 months ago

exactly 💯 and then when I realize I forgot the thing it's like what was all the mental preparation for?

solarbabies OP , 2 months ago

if someone tells me we're leaving tomorrow I'm like nuh uh I'm gonna need that in writing and delivered at least 2 weeks in advance sir, otherwise I may perish b/c I'll forget to bring anything to sustain life other than the clothes on my body

solarbabies OP , 2 months ago

this was a helpful starter list thank you lmao! I'm usually a single-carryon dude myself, but this time I'm going camping so I have to bring a checked bag with stuff I never usually think about like a sleeping bag, sleeping pad, tent (which I put up last weekend to make sure I have all the parts & I'm not freaking out in the rain), eclipse glasses, etc

solarbabies OP , 2 months ago

"procrastination" can be seen as avoiding tasks, but IMO we need a different word to describe it for tasks you want to do (which eventually get done) and those you don't (which may not).

seems to me capitalists favor using that word for the former case as an explanation of why people with ADHD take so long to do tasks; they want us to see mental and emotional pre-processing as "wasted time"

solarbabies OP , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

🤣 you got me

solarbabies OP , 2 months ago

I appreciate your honesty, I can relate b/c I've been there at points in my life too, including the weed. three things helped me kick/reduce all those habits:

1. stop expecting perfection from myself by giving myself lots of internal validation every day & replacing self-loathing thoughts with gratitude
2. break apart overwhelming tasks into stupidly small tasks like "write the first word of the first paragraph, then the next word, etc"
3. be my own parent & stop using weed, other substances and addictions like videogames to distract from the present by deciding to take short breaks (e.g. 1 day/1 week/1 month) & telling myself I'll keep going if I feel good after

I can recommend a book called Don't Believe Everything You Think, it's a short & easy read that reminds you why it's good to be in the present & that all the answers you need are already within you if you're honest enough with yourself to ask & answer those questions. good luck!

solarbabies , 2 months ago

is your automation automated? mine's manual I'm jealous

solarbabies , 2 months ago

more of these stream of consciousness style comments lol

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2d0716df-6d92-4207-82ce-056c01b6b8de.gif

solarbabies , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

As a man, I will say the very nature of this "solution" is paradoxical. (TL;DR at the end)

As I'm sure you know, some women do hit on men, when they feel safe. For example when they're out with their girlfriends I've seen women turn into absolute horndogs, doing cat-calling, questionably appropriate touching, even in some cases full-on sexual harassment, the whole 9 yards.

Your statement begs the (fair) question: why don't women feel safe openly flirting like that all the time?

In general (i.e. when they're alone), women tend to be afraid to hit on men for the same reason as in this comic, it's just a little harder to grasp/explain.

Let me try: If a woman, alone, sees an attractive man, alone, and decides to "roll the dice" and hit on the man by herself, what are the possible outcomes?

1. he could be nice, flirt back, and she'll end up liking him and they'll go on a date

2. he could be nice, flirt back but she might still decide she's not interested and try to say goodbye

3. (less likely, but still happens) he could give off weird/creepy vibes, and when she tries to walk away, he could try to hurt her or take advantage of her

What you have to understand is that for the woman, Outcome #2 is almost equally scary as Outcome #3. Because women know that regardless of whether they're a creep or the nicest guy ever, a lot of men don't handle rejection well.

I'm not saying you would do this, but ask yourself this: how would most men react if a woman comes up to flirt with them & she changes her mind half way through the conversation & decides to leave? Will most men be okay with it and move on? Or will they take it personally in some way and feel mistreated or get upset with the woman for "leading them on for no reason"?

I have to say, as a man who has interacted with lots of men from lots of cultures, most men, including myself at times, do not handle rejection in a healthy way (even though I've never lashed out at a woman for rejecting me, I've put women in uncomfortable situations out of the fear of rejection).

That is what more men, I feel, need to recognize in themselves, in order for any of this to get better. It's not about normalizing women flirting with men. It's about normalizing men responding to rejection with grace and humility. The attitude of "ah well, better luck next time!" would be so much healthier than the immediate victim mentality most men assume, which is "what did I do to deserve that rejection?". And that is why women have such a hard time feeling safe doing any of that stuff.

TL;DR in order to normalize women flirting with men, women need to feel safe doing so, which will only happen if men can normalize handling rejection in healthy ways.

solarbabies , 2 months ago

Hence the paradoxical nature I was referring to...

Putting this responsibility back onto women isn't pragmatic. In other words, it will never happen.

You might as well have said "war would solve itself if people would just stop fighting!" Ask yourself: how does that help the reality we live in?

This is why the change in normative behavior must come from men first, or nothing will improve.

solarbabies , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

If by "society" you mean men, then sure...

...unless you're suggesting women need to change their behavior in order to not be perceived as "sluts"?

Careful what you imply, you might come off as ignorant.

solarbabies , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

... and where do you suppose those women learned that behavior?

Such judgments have been written, by men, into practically every religious, historical and news-based text for the greater part of the last thousand years, and passed down as dogma to men, women and children alike under penalty of ostricization or in some cases, death.

Brainwashing is not exclusive to one gender. And while inter-gender discrimination is not as well documented as inter-racial discrimination, both have existed as long as oppressors have made it their goal to weaken the oppressed by sewing division among them.

Please, try reading some history before you go on the internet spouting harmful opinions.

solarbabies , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

I'm sorry for patronizing but IMO you should really ask yourself: what/who are you playing devil's advocate for?

Because so far you've only made points that make you come off as:

1. minimizing the real problem (men's behavior)
2. blowing tiny problems out of proportion (women's behavior)

solarbabies , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

You:

this would probably solve itself if women hit on men as much as the opposite.

Also you:

you’re the one who interpreted it as me putting the responsibility on women.

Okay dude. Whatever you say.

And yes, societal change is hard, but just because you can't think of any solutions, doesn't mean they don't exist. FWIW, there are plenty of practical ways to normalize behavior at the societal scale, some of the more violent & historically successful ones having already been mentioned earlier in this conversation.

One of the most powerful (non-violent) examples that comes to mind: popular film.

solarbabies , 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago)

We're going in circles now. I already asked you what's the point of considering such a hypothetical theory (which you admitted isn't practical) other than to distract from the real issue?

Idk what to tell you about film other than... anyone can make a film about anything.

The only thing stopping men from writing (or approving) more film scripts, books and other art about this very topic... is simply the lack of effort.

solarbabies , 2 months ago

The only one!
skeletons can talk ✅ and have girlfriends ✅

solarbabies , 3 months ago

what source is the last excerpt on ethical egoism from?