I need a scientist to determine if the mental health benefit of moving out versus the mental health crisis of having no money ever results in a net positive or negative multiplier on my mental health
Now, obviously it would depend on how shit your life is with your parents vs alone, but in my case I was much happier being poor but living with great roommates and experiencing just simple privacy for the first time.
Visit them often, hug them, thank them for being great parents and be genuinely sad after their death, but then feeling better by remembering and cherishing every moment you had with them.
Sometimes my heart wants to resent people like you for having supportive parents, but that's coming from an hurt and irrational part of me that's valid, but not useful to listen to. I'm glad that people like you and your parents exist, and I'm glad for your comment here, because even though I'm a long way away from my parents, it's useful to be reminded that my experience was not normal and it wasn't okay. Thanks for helping remind me and hopefully others that we deserve(d) a safe family home
Same. They always tried their best to give me the childhood they wish they had; to avoid passing on trauma they experienced. The cycle can be broken.
To any future parents who had traumatic childhoods, just know that you can give someone else what you deserved. You aren't destined to become your parents. Your kids will appreciate having good parents once they grow up. It's hard not to once you learn about the pain most people experience.
My parents are lovely and supportive but they're old and cranky and neurotic too. Because I live at home I'm always involved with family drama and seeing their health deteriorate is also stressful.
