for real. im new to lemmy but places like hexbear seem really good for trans stuff.
I am not trans, and so this may be incorrect, but while of course you can use any instance you choose, IIRC it's https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/ that is very explicitly trans-supportive at the instance level. (I'm not saying other instances are transphobic, to be clear)
Edit: I see you've already taken the convo far past the comment I replied to, sorry for not reading ahead!