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nomous

@nomous@lemmy.world

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nomous , (edited )

I thought gleek was when you yawned or are eating candy and that little jet of saliva squirts from under your tongue.

nomous ,

You're (wisely) backpeddling now but you said:

used to torture children in front of their serious romantic partners brought home for the first time.

Things were different when we were kids. It's a fucked up thing to psychologically abuse your (presumably) teenage kids like that and objectively people know that. (Your daughters) consent in the subject is the only thing that matters. The only reason anyone is giving you a pass is because you're FlyingSquid, but maybe leave those pictures in the closet until closer to the wedding.

nomous ,

Yeah saving it for their long term partners (if you have to) is probably a better idea than showing them during the first meeting.

And please don't dismiss other peoples trauma because you didn't experience it personally, childhood trauma takes many different forms, some we're only just becoming aware of.

nomous ,

I didn’t dismiss anyone’s trauma, I’m asking if that has ever resulted in anyone’s trauma

How can I speak for every person? Has it caused someones trauma? Yeah I bet it has. You initially made it sound like you were showing bath pics to every teen-aged first date that came over which would obviously be pretty fucked up.

showing the partner the first couple of pictures of the kid as a baby should be acceptable to people just as a “this is what they looked like when it all began"

Yeah we agree, baby pics are fun, I especially like noting family resemblances as everyone ages. My sister made my mom a big set of scrapbooks/albums for each of her kids one year, no naked baby pics were included. They're great fun to look at, highly recommend.

They also are unable to understand the concept of consent, let alone give it.

This is the primary issue, without even going into the obvious power dynamic between child and parent when it comes to consent later. Where do a childs rights end and parents begin?

I would also suggest that if that did cause someone trauma, it would be because the parent was aware this sort of thing would upset their child to that level and did it anyway.

I would suggest that most parents think they're doing great doing it just like it's always been done (i.e. generational trauma) and "they turned out just fine." but there are definitely some intentionally abusive ones too. The child with the intentionally abusive parent is obviously going to have way more trauma.

I think most parents wouldn’t actually show the pictures if they knew it would cause the child real psychological pain, because that isn’t the point in doing it.

The "real psychological pain" part makes it look like you're dismissing trauma, just because it's not something you experienced doesn't mean it isn't valid and while intent matters so does the result. I'm sure you specifically are a good parent and you're very conscious of your kids mental headspace but by default I'd say save it for the fiance if you just have to have them.

nomous ,

Psychology isn't based on your bets.

Spoken like someone who's never been in therapy or studied psychology, people bet and guess and infer stuff all the time; it's a "soft" science for a reason.

That means no baby pictures at all.

Specifically pictures of their genitals, I feel like no baby genital pics is a good default, yes, what a weird hill to die on.

You have no evidence of this trauma.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence

You're just guessing.

Guessing, inferring, surmising, call it whatever helps you sleep at night. I think of it as erring on the side of safety and respect for my kids. Not having pics of their junk doesn't make my life any worse, there's only downsides for them.

nomous ,

We're talking about pictures of your kids genitals. What a weird fucking hill to die on. Its your kid, take all the pics you want, probably don't get caught with them on your phone.

It's ok to just say "you know what you might have a point" and walk away sometimes my dude.

nomous ,

And yet I don't think you do have a point without evidence,

My point is childhood trauma takes a lot of forms and "good natured" showing naked pictures of your children to potential romantic partners the first time they visit (the thing we were talking about) is undoubtedly traumatic for a portion that experience it. I'm not aware of any specific studies studying the impact of showing nude photos of your children to their potential romantic suitors but I do know that childhood trauma has been studied and has far-reaching, unknown impacts. Even if the victim often doesn't recognize the instance as abuse until much later in life, if ever.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-ptsd/202206/how-childhood-shame-can-affect-our-adult-relationships

https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2018/09/childhood-toxic-shame

https://mind.help/news/childhood-humiliation-can-leave-lifelong-scars-warn-mental-health-experts/

Again, where do you get your psychology degree from?

I was about halfway through a sociology degree (admittedly as a pretty subpar state university) before I transferred to CS. What'd you study?

I’m sorry… do you think it’s illegal to have a photo of a naked baby on your phone?

They're not something I'd want on my phone obviously.

nomous ,

you’re saying a baby feels trauma and shame when it has its picture taken and that leads to psychological problems as an adult and creates more trauma when you show that photo to their partner?

You're being willfully obtuse. The trauma and shame comes from the picture being displayed for the parents amusement to potential romantic partners the first time they come over, presumably in their early teens.

virtually every new parent has photos of their baby naked on their phone.

Most I've seen are completely swaddled and only their little faces are visible.

And it’s legal.

Where did you get your law degree?

I have no idea why you don’t think it would be. A nude picture of your own baby is not child porn.

I mean, I personally agree with that.

No one has ever been put on a sex offender list for having a picture of their child just after it exited the womb on their phone.

Crazier shit has happened and we're not talking about gross little bloody newborns fresh out of the box. In every baby pic I've ever seen (and in the context of this comic); they're bath pics, specifically ones with their junk in it! It's weird, just place some bubbles or a wash cloth strategically or something it's not that difficult fuck.

nomous ,

Evidence?

Was the focal point of the photo on the child’s genitalia or pubic area?

"It seemed to be."

"Was the child who is depicted in an unnatural pose, or in inappropriate attire, given the age of the child?"

"They were naked."

"Was the child nude or fully or partially clothed?"

"Completely nude your honor."

That's how quickly that can be used against you and I for one don't have that kind of faith in our legal system.

Look, it's your kid you do whatever you want, we could argue back and forth all day, I'm sure you're a decent parent and handle things as appropriately as possible but for anyone else reading this maybe give some consideration to pictures you take of your vulnerable kids and what purpose those pictures serve, some strategic bubbles or a cloth make the picture 100% innocent and it becomes a non-issue.

nomous ,

can you provide evidence that has ever happened to any parent?

How could I even find that evidence? I don't have access to court records re custody battles and divorces or therapy notes from every doctor out there. I showed you links indicating that even unintended childhood trauma lingers into adulthood but you dispute showing embarrassing images could possibly be humiliating or that any parent could possible make a bad decision regarding them.

seem to think you can make any claim you like without evidence

I never claimed it happened, I claimed it could be bad which is self evident to me but apparently not everyone. My hypothetical illustrated how easily innocent actions could be misconstrued, nothing more.

get indignant about it when you aren’t automatically believed.

My only point here is that maybe taking pictures of your naked children and parading them around when their first boy/girlfriends start coming over (the thing you said it was for) maybe isn't the best idea and could be saved for a time later, when they're ready to show people. If anyone is indignant it's someone who feels their parenting skills are being questioned.

nomous ,

everyone knows that naked baby pictures are used to torture children in front of their serious romantic partners brought home for the first time. This has not happened in my 14-year-old daughter’s life yet

What age did you start meeting your partners parents? Gonna be any time now isn't it?

nomous ,

Does this look poisoned to you?

Yeah it looks bombed-out as fuck to anything more complicated than plant-life. I'm not saying we shouldn't be pursuing nuclear energy, just that this argument feels very poorly constructed and intentionally misleading.

https://knowablemagazine.org/content/article/food-environment/2022/scientists-cant-agree-about-chernobyls-impact-wildlife

nomous ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/e210ddd4-e30e-41bd-9e2a-bc1d7a99d104.webp

lol, does this look poisoned to you?

nomous ,

Yeah I think we both agree that nuclear is worth pursuing, it's not 100% safe but nothing is; even windmills catch fire or spin apart. It's far safer than fossil fuels.

nomous ,

I actually used to open them up and snip the wires, you don't get to hear it POST but that never really became an issue.

nomous ,

I’ve told my solution but you instead want a silver bullet. Everyone wants a silver bullet.

You haven't though, just said some vague phrases and hinted that if everyone else just thought like you the problem would resolve itself.

nomous ,

Idk it seems like everytime a trained, well-equipped military goes up against a bunch of farmers the military loses so I'm not sure I agree with you.

nomous ,

We are at rock bottom.

Hahaha, oh no friend it's going to get so much worse.

nomous ,

Again that's a nice sounding statement that means nothing.

I tell people as often as I can, especially my trans and bipoc friends; now is the time. Get a couple guns (a long one and a short one) and learn how to use them. Learn some basic first aid, you really just need to know how to stabilize someone. Start networking with like-minded people in your communities. The police will not protect us, they’ve proven they’ll happily club senior citizens to the ground and shoot any protesters in the face with rubber bullets while escorting a rightwing murderer to safety.

Iran was a secular, liberal state until almost 1980 when they (mostly legitimately) elected an Islamist theocracy; it could happen here.

nomous ,

Students of history disagree. Remember when they told us we'd smash Vietnam in a month? Remember when they said the same thing about Iraq? You can come up with all the "but it's different this time!" you like, I agree we probably won't come to an agreement on this, have a nice day.

nomous ,

I think you meant to reply to a different comment or this is all non-sequitors and you're replying to things I didn't say.

nomous ,

Why are you ignoring my questions?

I don't owe you an argument. I've stated my position and you've stated yours. Have a nice Friday.

nomous ,

Actually you made the statement "Citizens will not stop a coup attempt using guns. You’re watching too many movies. Be realistic." And I replied idk farmers seem to have a pretty good track record. Then you doubled down to start arguing which I'm not interested in because it's been discussed a million times and we likely will not come to an agreement.So again, have a nice Friday.

nomous ,

My fear (not fantasy) is a truckload of redhatted MAGAts rolling into my (liberal, gay, city) neighborhood and taking potshots a the local "lifestyle center" while the police look the other way or pat them on the back and buy them Burger King on the way out. You wanna talk about gun control cool but that's a way different conversation than anyone is having right now, now kindly piss off.

nomous ,

I told you I don't owe you an argument, go find it elsewhere. It's the weekend go outside and go for a walk or something.

To those of you with nothing to hide: One day you might have. Because you don’t make the rules. (mullvad.net)

The most common argument used in defense of mass surveillance is ‘If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear’. Try saying that to women in the US states where abortion has suddenly become illegal. Say it to investigative journalists in authoritarian countries. Saying ‘I have nothing to hide’ means you stop...

nomous ,

So you logged into all their social media and changed their passwords and recovery emails right? I don't just want access now, I want it in perpetuity.

Tesla is recalling its Cybertruck for the fourth time to fix problems with trim pieces that can come loose and front windshield wipers that can fail | The new recalls each affect over 11,000 trucks (apnews.com)

The company says in the documents that the front windshield wiper motor controller can stop working because it’s getting too much electrical current. A wiper that fails can cut visibility, increasing the risk of a crash. The Austin, Texas, company says it knows of no crashes or injuries caused by the problem....

nomous ,

It's inferior in every way. PayPal has been known to freeze accounts and drag their feet on unfreezing them. With Venmo and CashApp and all the various cryptos sending money to people has never been easier.

nomous ,

Yeah, Netflix is a shadow Its former self, thanks for proving the point.

nomous ,

Yeah Zelle works too, I wasn't endorsing any specific app as much as saying that PayPal isn't the best method for sending money to friends.

nomous ,

It's not Netflixes fault that they promote a show until it gets an audience and then pulls the plug? It's not Netflixes fault they raise their prices?

It's like you missed the last six months where everyone was talking about enshittification but sure go off how it's "others" that made Netflix suck.

edit; additionally thanks for not disputing PayPal sucks though, that was literally my only point, have a nice day.

nomous ,

Enjoy simping for PayPal or whatever you're doing Muskrat.

nomous ,

Your lack of personal awareness is hilarious.

Piss off now please.

nomous ,

Not to be confused with the other mega block buster hit movie about an asteroid hitting earth released one month earlier in 1998, Deep Impact.

nomous ,

Yes, it's called JAQ'ing off or Sealioning and is how people try to push an idea while still being able to say "oh no not me I'm just curious."

If you were actually curious you'd google it, or been aware of his descent over the last 5 years.

nomous ,

Bro I have bad feet after years of wearing shitty chucks and vans. $100 is like the entry level for good "adult" shoes. Even then you're probably walking around in some neon Asics or something.

edit: orthotics are your friend but they're not cheap either

nomous ,

Friend I've worn 50 different brands at a dozen different price points, until you're a podiatrist you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

nomous ,

Holy shit your assumption says a lot about you. How do you think AI is going to "help impoverished people live better lives" exactly?

nomous ,

How do you think we got the 40hr work week?

nomous ,

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst!

nomous ,

Stop after your first 4 words and you'd be correct but all your other words are just your imagination and you trying to rationalize what you've already said.

nomous ,

he wants to stop it from helping impoverished people live better lives and all the other advantages simply because it didn’t exist when.he was young and change scares him

That's the part I take issue with, the weird probably-projecting assumption about people.

Have fun with the holier-than-thou moral high ground attitude about AI though, shits laughable.

nomous ,

Such a great show, hail to the king baby!

nomous ,

I can run a decent small engine for a decade and when it finally breaks I can rebuild it for $50 and get another decade out of it.

I have battery powered stuff for my home but for commercial use, literally thousands of work-hours, the battery tech isn't there yet.

nomous ,

A restaurant that doesn't have milk is a probably a shitty restaurant anyway.

What kind of kitchen doesn't have milk in it? Even the hardest-core vegan cafe would have some kind of passable milk substitute right?

Next thing you know they'll be saying they don't have salt.

nomous , (edited )

Does everyone already have their guns, boots, and beans?

Nows the time, get a couple guns (a long one and a short one) and learn how to use them. Learn some basic first aid, you really just need to know how to stabilize someone. Start networking with like-minded people in your community. The police will not protect us, they'll happily club a senior citizen to the ground and shoot you in the face with a rubber bullet.

If a MAGAt caravan comes rolling through your (or your friends) neighborhood with bad intentions you don't want to be caught lacking.

https://www.dsausa.org/

https://www.redneckrevolt.org/

https://www.john-brown-gun-club.org/

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie_Squad

https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/

nomous ,

Each person should assess their needs and prepare appropriately. Maybe a person wants one general purpose gun. Someone else might want a very long range rifle with a small sidearm as backup.

Frankly getting bogged down in the minutiae immediately (and talking gun control of all things) is being unable to see the forest for the trees and really emblematic of why "the left" can't get anything done. You don't want two guns that's great don't get two it's not a difficult concept. In case you missed the point your protection is on you so prepare accordingly.

nomous , (edited )

It's like you've never actually fired a gun. Do you think shooting something 100 yards away is the same as shooting something 4 foot away?

I can see you don't like guns and that's fine, that means my comment was clearly not meant for you but for people who are willing to defend themselves when the worst case scenario becomes reality. Maybe you'd feel differently if you had a family to protect, but maybe you'd just equivocate and "ackshually" while they carted your trans kid off. I don't know and don't really care tbh, the post was for those paying attention. Have a nice day.

nomous ,

I feel like you can't read, that would explain why that's what you took from my comment, good riddance, dork.

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