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flicker

@flicker@lemmy.world

Mentally ill woman in her late 30s. Quit my jobs with DIDDs to go to work a retail job and go to school.

I’m here to help!

Formerly @kbin.social.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

flicker ,

You know what they say about foot size.

(You're welcome in advance, whoever I set this up for.)

flicker ,

I was so massively disappointed when it evolved and just kept getting less cute...

flicker ,

I'm unbelievably lazy and this is what I do. Torch on every surface and then a patch of grass. Never had a problem.

I give people playing Minecraft with me the same warning I give my partners.

This is a blanket warning that everything I build on is chaotic in the same way my mind is, and any time you spend in my sandbox is time you spend rolling the dice on a fun new disaster.

flicker ,

I really want to open and edit this with the thirty thoughts I have at any given moment instead of all the "bad at this" bubbles.

But I know I'll get distracted halfway through.

flicker ,

You can't get ye flask.

flicker ,

Do you have more infographics like this one because it's shockingly helpful?

flicker ,

I can confirm there's still tons of hillbillies.

flicker ,

The Anatchist's Cookbook strikes again.

flicker ,

*Not valid in people with ADHD.

flicker ,

Pedantic.

I can't take enough of my adderall to have those symptoms without having a heart attack first. It's safe for me to say "I can't take enough adderall to do that," and requiring me to specify I can, but I'd die of other symptoms first, is super pedantic.

flicker ,

My gender has been plasma since I hit puberty.

flicker ,

I needed to read this yesterday morning (I quit yesterday afternoon). Anyone reading this now, put it in your back pocket and remember it when your time comes. Don't miss your opportunity!

flicker ,

Same. I've got a big IRC crowd vibe. (37.)

flicker ,

Where is this from?

flicker ,

Which is how I found myself getting a "minimum calorie per day" from my doctor.

flicker ,

Brevity is the soul of wit.

flicker , (edited )

Trigger warning; tough love that takes a form that may seem insulting to women, women-presenting, trans women, nonbinary people, and straight men who hate being lumped in with other, worse straight men. And if anybody can teach me how to mark for spoilers on Boost for Lemmy... I'll add those.

I read likes 3/4ths before my ADHD brain did seven other things but I came back to say something I'm saying all the time to my trans sisters. Which is this;

Unattractive women are invisible.

Cis women have said this for years.

There are obviously people making efforts to rectify that, but the truth is, while many of these uniquely trans experiences are unique... many more are, in my opinion (which is admittedly from a different place) just a reinforcement that this writer is, for better or worse, a woman.

They talk about how hair on cis women is accepted and attractive. This is not the overwhelming truth. I'm as cis as they come, and literally five days ago someone noted I had underarm hair out loud, to my face, as if there was any reality in which I didn't know.

I wish someone would go around telling my trans sisters that what you're experiencing is the womanly reality. People feel comfortable targeting trans women because it's shorthand when they do it for "I want to reject you, and here's a more socially acceptable response aside from not finding you attractive, personally."

If you weren't easily identifiable as trans, you'd be getting rejected for the same bullshit. You're a woman. Many people value you only for whether or not you make their dick hard or their pussy wet, and you're going to have to get used to that. As a badass dominatrix said to me once, "Put on your big girl panties, don't let them see you cry, and get back to work." :::

Eta: attempts at spoiler

flicker ,

You're absolutely allowed to scream.

Here's a fun truth women don't really about often enough; many women grow steel wool. And those of us who didn't start growing it when young? Most of them will grow it.

I consider myself extremely lucky in this department and I'm stopping to pluck whiskers off my chin and neck literally all day. And not one at a time, either! And when I say "whiskers" I mean I'm pretty sure they can be sharpened and used to cut diamonds! Please be aware I've met seven or so women in my life with PCOS. All of whom cried countless tears over how "masculine" they were because they could shave in the morning and have a five o'clock shadow.

This isn't to invalidate your struggle. It's to validate it with the secret knowledge that fighting these things is something every single woman either does constantly (and something like 99% of us do, by the way) or she's "brave" and gets stigmatized. See also; I had less than an eighth of an inch of hair in my pits! And it's being pointed out and shamed!

Is it harder for someone transitioning? Sure. But I think a big part of why is because of the bullshit that is having to take your rightful place among womankind, which doesn't mean that any of these stop being a fight. In some ways, they will always be more of one. Because all women are forced to have this fight. It's what our culture and society have given to us.

In fact, I think that's why so many ciswomen support the AFAB-only spaces idea. People are inherently self-centered, and when a trans woman says they don't feel validated as a woman because, say, facial hair... all the ciswomen reading that see is an accusation. This trans woman believes she's not woman enough because of her facial hair... and that secret voice in a ciswoman's head says, "And if that makes her less of a woman, what does that mean about you?"

I know I'm inviting a lot of hate and accusations of transphobia, but as I like to say, I owe the world my honesty.

flicker ,

It doesn't presuppose that they're different. It says the quiet society part out loud; many of the ciswomen I know don't actually share their fears of being less of a woman out loud very easily, and none of them do it online! There's so much fear and shame wrapped up in it for them.

This is one hypothesis why I've seen other ciswomen, who consider themselves allies, turn TERFy.

flicker ,

That's more words than I used which defeats the purpose.

This was a joke. I love your phrase and say it a lot in day-to-day life. It's a great reminder to improve things wherever I can because our current systems are just that; beatings. For everything. Forever.

flicker ,

I did try and add the implication that what I was saying wasn't (and could never be) a whole picture. In the dealings of people, we could never capture the whole of a picture, even if we had infinite time. The ways in which people are uniquely terrible (and uniquely wonderful of course) is just too much subject matter to ever contain in one book, let alone comment.

flicker ,

Thanks very much!

flicker ,

...is this satire?

X is becoming a 'ghost town' of bots as AI-generated spam content floods the internet — A sign of the scale is the thriving industry in bot-making (www.abc.net.au)

X is becoming a 'ghost town' of bots as AI-generated spam content floods the internet — A sign of the scale is the thriving industry in bot-making::The internet is filling up with machine-generated "zombie content" designed to game algorithms and scam humans. Experts call it the "great AI flood".

flicker ,

I think notspez did it, but they did it as performance art, and I enjoyed it.

flicker ,

I was already pissed, I didn't need the punch to have a laugh.

flicker ,

Lemmy see it.

flicker ,

I think we need some good old big-government regulation to start penalizing foods that have those things in them.

I think (I hope) you meant penalizing foods that have saturated fats and don't have fiber. Which I agree to entirely! I work in healthcare and the amount of people who have obesity related health issues or diabetes or metabolic syndrome is staggering. And only getting worse!

Everywhere I go here in the US I'm struck by how people seem to come in only two sizes now- fit, or obese. Many of them have trouble walking. Young people, too. I see them and I think, "My God. You are one injury away from losing mobility entirely." And the health care industry in this country is not ready to provide the care so many people will need soon.

I'm terrified for these people. Horrified that they don't realize that walking like that now, and not getting that fixed, becomes a wheelchair in 10 years. If they're lucky. Bedbound, after that. We need an overhaul of the insurance system now. And since we aren't getting it, care will go for a premium in the blink of an eye. They can't pay us to stay in our jobs now. Where will we get the people then?!

flicker ,

I don't like either and have been mobbed over my opinion, despite being a caregiver for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

One of the reasons I speak up as a caregiver is I have known ASD 1 people who admitted that it bothers them that people use that term, but they feel like they can't make the argument themselves. Because they're disabled.

Out of touch assholes are the only ones still dug in over this.

flicker ,

The problem is, you're using someone else's diagnosis as an insult. That's the part that sucks.

Luckily we've been able to phase out most of the people who still have "mental retardation" as their diagnosis. The disappointing thing is we still have (mostly older) people who will never be reclassified.

flicker ,

I'm pretty sure you were downvoted by someone angry that you referenced the nword, even though you were literally equating the use of the word as a slur to your own experience. Which is a bummer, because as a neurologically atypical person, it can be difficult even to speak out to address your own lived experience, and can also be difficult to know what to say to have neurologically typical people grasp what you're trying to express.

Which demonstrates why I bitch about people using the word "retarded" as an insult. When people with that lived experience do speak up, sometimes it can be difficult to make the point you're making in a way the greater population understands and BAM! Now you've pissed off everyone!

It's so ridiculous to me that there are people out there so proud, so attached to the words they use as insults that having someone else say, "You might be hurting someone other than the person you intend with that word, could you maybe pick another one?" outrages them.

And, let me just say, if you're too dim-witted to think up a better, more appropriate insult, you might be as stupid as the people you're trying to insult.

flicker ,

I agree completely with your entire reply. Thanks for stopping by to share it!

flicker ,

I don't have the ability to explain to the mentally disabled why, when someone says a word that they associate with themselves in a mean way, that they shouldn't be hurt.

I have a woman in her late 60s who will tell anyone who listens about the time some kids called her "handicapped." And she'll cry over it. And it happened more than twenty years ago. So instead I have to advocate for the discontinuation of it's use. My hands are kind of tied here.

So I'll keep reminding people, "Please don't be an asshole if you can stop yourself." And for the ones who either choose not to stop themselves, or gleefully continue to be assholes (like a troll, or the entitled prick who insists that since they don't mean it "that way" everyone else should just accept that and understand it) I'll do damage control. But even one less instance of damage control is a blessing.

Reddit Is Letting Power Users In on Its IPO. Not Everyone’s Buying (www.wired.com)

Reddit Is Letting Power Users In on Its IPO. Not Everyone’s Buying::Reddit says it wants to reward users by letting them buy into the company’s public listing. Some say it’s too risky—others say they won’t pay a company they’ve already given hours of free labor to.

flicker ,

Mine was DACHEATED.

flicker ,

"You'll never be pretty!"

"Shut up internalized misogyny! A woman's value is not in her appeal to the male gaze!"

I tell my trans sisters that a voice telling them they're not pretty enough should be gender euphoric, cuz all us cis ladies have that voice, too.

flicker ,

I have a giant bottle of crushed red pepper but otherwise it's pretty accurate.

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

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    flicker ,

    Damn straight I can, and have, and that doesn't make me any less feminine.

    flicker ,

    Don't set back our entire gender by pretending that being a girl means you can't fix a sink.

    What you meant is "but I don't wanna."

    flicker ,

    I'm bi. You can still choose to be the kind of person who does things, no matter your gender or orientation.

    flicker ,

    Woosh on me then lol. Fair play.

    flicker ,

    It is a very weird place to go on fire!

    flicker ,

    And I really... I want a burrito!

    Fixed your cadence for ya friend.

    flicker ,

    I bet you're fun to get drunk with.

    flicker ,

    Then whatever kind of fun social thing. I bet you're fun to socialize with!

    flicker ,

    Tag yourself. I'm Pursuant and Contrary.

    That's the whole name, if you haven't read it, not two separate names. "Pursuant and Contrary."

    flicker ,

    That was my second choice!

    flicker ,

    "Testing" got a laugh out of me!

    flicker ,

    I always feel very Clardic Fug just after lunch.

    flicker ,

    Wouldn't it be chilly with no skin on?

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