I've dated a couple hot chicks back before OF and cam sites were mainstream, and honestly it's tedious if you aren't equally attractive. I wouldn't have dated them if I wasn't confident in the relationship but it's still tedious when dudes will walk right up to yall and hit on her in front of her when you're obviously together.
It's probably not something that'd be a problem now that I'm in my 30s, but I wouldn't know cause I don't get dates these days anyway 😂
I hung out with my incel nephew and his friends. They went on and on about phoney girls with fake boobs.
When I asked if any of them ever touched a "fake boob" before, the silence. Then the "Are any of you dating?" And yep, all I needed to know about them.
If you think about, this makes the most sense. A person with an OF is getting their rocks off without other people present most of the time. Unless they are doing content with someone who enjoys making stuff too. But I think the majority of content creators are solo ventures.
In that most common scenario you would have a person not comfortable making content dating someone who does. That relationship is going to end eventually when OF creator is getting their sexual needs met and the SO isn't getting enough attention to satisfy their needs.
But of course there will always be outliers like asexual people or having opposite libidos. Which those situations might work great to have an OF side gig.
But if we are talking the majority or people, I think its safe to say one OF creator dating a non-OF creator is probably not very likely.
OF content creators date non-creators all the time, just like other sex workers. There's more to relationships than sex, and content creation isn't the same thing as actual sexual intimacy and connection
This is often assumed but most of the only fans adult content creators make very little. What if she makes very little but it just makes her feel sexy? I just want them to be happy in what they do.
I just ask that people realize what I realize, which is it's an issue with ME that I'm not secure enough to be with a person who I can see having sex with someone else. I cannot control my feelings but I am responsible for them, or at the very least, other people are not responsible for them(at least in this example anyway it's not as if the of model was having sex with other people AT me.)
Oh absolutely, I dont feel bad about that. But the feeling I get thinking about being with someone who does that kind of stuff is exactly a feeling of insecurity. It's fine and normal, same way its normal to have a little anxiety or a little depression. In healthy doses it's essentially just personality traits, but to me those feeling stem from insecurity. Perhaps it's even innate and not something to be 'fixed' but it still feels like insecurity to me. But I'm realizing that I suppose I can only speak for myself here.
Thats not what I think it should mean, thats how emotions work. Those feelings stem from insecurity. That's factual. People say they're so OCD when they like to be organized, is that what OCD means now?
Really scaping the bottom of the barrel. Seems to me is synonymous with looks to me. Got anything else or just more dissappontment for your English teacher?
An open relationship isn't that weird of a concept to some. It's about how much others mean to you, not how much of them you posess. People in these comments are fucking pathetic for not understanding this basic fact of healthy relationships: You do not own anyone else. To any degree. Period.
I think most people here agree with you, it's just that the way you're speaking to them comes off as judgemental and kinda mean, so they respond accordingly.
I'm sorry for not going into further detail?? You've used belittling or downright insulting language in like 5/7 of your comments in this thread now. And the small page of profile digging I had to do to find those shows it's not just this thread you've got an attitude in. Maybe you're the problem and not everybody else?
About conversations turning south? Absolutely, totally my fault. Though you're still all retards fundamentally failing to understand how healthy relationships work or how what I said applies.
The problem is that so far literally nobody has disagreed with you. Some people have said that open relationships aren't for them, and then you went and said they're claiming they own people??
Please point to a single instance where somebody has said they own someone else, or that they think open relationships are disgusting or some shit. No, I imagine we all understand how healthy relationships work but you're too busy putting words in our mouths to see that you're insulting people over things they never said.
No ownership, but sharing time. I want to buy a house not a time-share. I want that deep emotional connection with someone. I don't have the capacity to have more than one deep connection and would like someone similar. If my partner chooses they want something open, that's fine, but we would transition to friends
Right. Some people handle this well, others are not open to it. Willingness to adhere to monogamy is a thing that varies from person to person and must be discussed in any relationship. Ethical nonmonogamy is a thing, but it's not for everyone, and it is a lot of communication and intimate work.
I find the notion of ENM peculiar. Just the name starting with ethical gives it an 'exception to the rule' feel, that the default is unethical.
It's like the terms open or swingers (which is a slightly separate thing I get, but in the same space) didn't exist before or are no longer acceptable.
I think ethical nonmonogamy casts a wider net. I wouldn't call myself a swinger. I don't do parties or anything like that. But I'm still not monogamous and it's still not cheating since my partner and I have an existing arrangement and regular check-ins.
I guess I'm more getting at the term itself than the concept. People for a while have sometimes said 'we have an open relationship' which to my mind is functionally the same thing. The other nearest option would be non-partnered in which case a title isn't needed anyhow.
The part that seems weird to me is by specifically labeling it as ethical, it implies that the standard non-monogomy is unethical which seems like a strange stance to tie a lifestyle to if usable terms exist.
Just the philosophical musings of a fairly vanilla middle age dude navigating the modern social world though. 🙂
Agreed, but know what they are. They aren't lines to control someone with. They're lines someone should agree with and should know may be signs of other controlling behavior. So many people are OK with being controlled and it's frankly pathetic.
If you're dealing with the boundaries healthily, then it's not so much an insecurity and more of a limitation. If others are aware and OK with it, I'd call that healthily dealt with. Whether or not the limitation is a problem is merely a matter of preference, and luckily it sounds like yours line up.
I love how everyone assumes "indicative of" is a direct accusation... As if false red flags based on perception do not exist. People are so small minded.
Im someone for whom C is a necessity like the person you're responding too and I think you're 100% right.
It may not be a nessesarily pathological insecurity, but it absolutely is an insecurity.
If I felt more secure I'd probably be able to deal with it. I don't think that means im a necessarily insecure person, or am someone for whom insecurity is a clinical problem, but at least comparatively that makes it an insecurity.
You can get depressed and not have depression, you can get insecure and not be an insecure person, heck you can even maintain a healthy amount of anxiety. These are essentially just human traits and there's no shame in admitting that I have a trait that's at least a little rooted in insecurity so long as it doesn't negatively impact my life.
