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Got tracked down for my school reunion

Today I was contacted by someone at work.
She graduated school with me and our 20 year reunion was coming up. Why did she contact me at work? It was the only way they were able to track me down. I was included in promotional material by name.
She told me I "was the hardest to track down"and I had to smile.

This is just a small anecdote about privacy practices and their real life impact (and how your employer can undo all of it, I guess)

ModernRisk ,
@ModernRisk@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Call me pessimistic, but I do think:

  • Privacy is an illusion.
  • Control is an illusion (a reference to Mr. Robot).

Certainly, we can do a lot to have more privacy, but it is an illusion to think that we have complete control over it. Especially with social media, jobs, and today's technology.

SidewaysHighways ,

Hello friend

umbrella ,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

daydream, i feel asleep amid the flowers

Reawake9179 ,

You're right, but that doesn't mean we have to give up completely.

illah ,

I’ve come to realize most of the privacy hawk arguments are based on imagined risks, and the average privacy enthusiast is an ideologically driven idealist. What is the end goal beyond pumping one’s ego?

Especially internet privacy hawks are the worst. It just doesn’t really matter at all. Unless you are all cash, off the grid, no phone or bank account etc, you will leave a huge trail. Instagram figuring out I like basketball is the least of my worries.

ForgotAboutDre ,

Most aren't going to thwart governments, serious policing, private investigations or very determined individuals. But they will reduce their exposure to advertising and online profiling. We are bombarded with soon many businesses try to constantly sell things and manipulate the way we think and act for thier own profit. Privacy is a series of small acts that can reduce hostile businesses effectiveness.

mihor ,

As an anecdote I once tracked down a person who threatened me. The only things I had were their likeness (whilst wearing a mask!), the car and plates (which were only useful to positively identify the person was correct when I called the phone number and asked 'do you own such and such car with such and such plates') and the fact that the person worked for a law firm (not specific) using only osint.

Scolding0513 ,

"only"

thayer ,

Yep. My only real goal is to reduce the amount of advertising I'm exposed to on a daily basis, and to that end it's working...for now.

No cable, no streaming services, no broadcast radio, automated downloads of media, ad blockers everywhere, DNS sinkhole, etc. Thankfully, it's all low maintenance once in place.

umbrella ,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

while i dont 100% disagree, cambridge analytica is a great example of how profiling our personality to the T can be used against us. thats not including the good points made by other posters here.

LLMs will be able to do more damage in a bigger scale, it only feels imaginary because you can't really see it with your eyes, but would you let me install a RAT on your devices?

Reawake9179 ,

I'm fine with pumping my ego, i didn't got asked to participate.

Draegur ,

Morality is just as much of an illusion, doesn't mean you should be allowed to smash someone's skull in with a brick. Social constructs and social contract were dreamed up by our species because they work and have utility.

So we better fucking do everything we CAN to sustain the "illusions*.

ModernRisk ,
@ModernRisk@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

It seems like my comment has upset you or at least agitated you, if that’s not the case – it’s the impression you gave me.

I never said that we should ‘’not do everything we can’’; of course, we should. But that certainly does not mean we control everything. No matter how hard you try and how well you manage to maintain both privacy and control, at some point there will be a ‘’leak’’. Not by you but perhaps by your job, your family, friends or acquaintance. There are to many external things to have 100% control.

In today’s era, both privacy and control are truly mere illusions because you can maintain your privacy and believe you are in control, yet somewhere along the way, you leave a trail behind, especially with technology. I’m not sure why you brought ‘’morality’’ into the discussion of privacy and control – because that’s a whole other argument. This post and my comments were merely about these two.

Though, I did not expect my comment to get this much attention. It's just my personal opinion, you can agree and disagree.

Draegur ,

It's all good, my irreverent tone didn't come across right

ReversalHatchery ,

Your first comment sounded a little defeatist, I think that's it

FiskFisk33 ,

Morality is not an illusion, it's a social construct.

Absolute privacy is an illusion, because it doesn't really exist, and if you believe you have achieved it you are fooling yourself.

they are not really comparable concepts.

Got_Bent ,

I had this argument with my boss and lost. They made all of us take photos that they posted on the company website. I said I'm working pretty hard on making myself invisible and don't appreciate being forced to out myself like this. Tough shit. My name picture and contact info are out there for all to see.

voracitude ,

They showed you how much they value you: less than a name and photo on their website. Sorry, bruv. I wish they had respected your wishes.

ErKaf ,

What the fuck? Where are you from? That would be illegal in germany. If you don't want to be in the internet, they can't just force you.

pineapplelover ,

I think this would be illegal in California too

Confused_Emus ,

Can’t speak for other countries but in the US this is horse shit.

SeekPie ,

Name checks out

pruneaue ,

My 10y reunion is coming up, and im like 99% sure that nobody will be able to find me lol.
Im not in contact with anyone, and ive even changed my name and as far as i know none of them know the new one either :')

Hazzia ,

I have one up one you: I'm 100% sure nobody will find me because I'm 100% sure nobody will look for me. So take that, I guess.

tofubl ,

Have your parents and siblings changed their everything as well? That's how I would try to find someone I went to school with.

Th4tGuyII ,
@Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

In terms of online presence I think one has to be careful about becoming too private - at what point do you become so untrackable that even people you would like to find you (I.e. old friends) can't anymore.

hypnicjerk ,

i really don't want old friends or distant family finding me though

Cheradenine ,

Agreed. If I am not in contact with you there is a reason.

jjlinux ,

Or more than one reason.

MrBusiness ,

"And what about very old friends?"

starman ,
@starman@programming.dev avatar

I have a website that shows up when someone searches my name on the internet and an email there. This way people are able to contact me and I don't have to use any spyware like Facebook.

But whether that works for you depends on your threat model, I guess.

toototabon ,
@toototabon@lemmy.ml avatar

Is it just a bare bones websites that has only your email? Do you host it?

starman ,
@starman@programming.dev avatar

Is it just a bare bones website

No, it's more work-oriented/portfolio type of site and it's hosted on Cloudflare Pages under my domain.

But in this case, bare bones website would be sufficient

Hellmo_Luciferrari ,

I would fully like to erase my online presence. I dont want people seeking me out.

d3Xt3r ,

I have a Google Alert set up, so I get notified in case my name pops up on the web. A month after I joined a new company, I got an alert - turned out that their internal directory page was exposed to the public web. I was pretty livid - all this time I was proud of maintaining good anonymity, looking up my name never returned anything meaningful on Google. So I complained to my boss about this, and he said it was actually a bug/misconfiguration - which they were already aware of, but didn't bother fixing it because no one complained. I was super pissed and made it very clear that it was a violation of my privacy and I wanted it taken down ASAP. Thankfully my boss was understanding and got it fixed. Then I had to report the page to Google. It took a while, but it was finally gone from the search results.

Preflight_Tomato ,

To help with this in the future, you can also create several fake results sharing your real name. Stuff like a blogger with one post not in your writing style, etc.. This will dilute searches with disinformation. Removal of real data is important, but you can also confuse anyone looking.

Natanael , (edited )

You could use an AI generated fake face and fake history too if your name is unique to make people think they either found the wrong person or make them unsure of the other listings mentioning you with only your name as an identifier

LemmyRefugee ,

Calm down Dexter. We all know your secret!

TCB13 ,
@TCB13@lemmy.world avatar

I guess you can ask her how she managed to track you... later on do the necessary adjustments.

Thcdenton ,

As the Eric Cartman of my school. I will not have this problem.

deltapi ,

I don't understand. Are you saying you're a racist, abusive, narcissistic fuckhead? Or that you're fat?

Thcdenton ,

*was

monkeyslikebananas2 ,

Um, which one?

Xatolos ,
@Xatolos@reddthat.com avatar

https://reddthat.com/pictrs/image/fd62e70e-12d3-4ae9-89c4-94e508b35f77.jpeg

Thcdenton ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8c5325b4-e5b6-4bff-a4f5-ff9afa8f0b38.gif

Syn_Attck ,

Um, why does it matter? He matured and changed. It's a positive attribute, not a negative one.

monkeyslikebananas2 ,

It doesn’t. Was an attempt at a witty retort.

Syn_Attck ,

I see. Textual communication has a pesky habit of not conveying tone unless you intentionally craft it to. It bugs me that there are so many people who negatively judge someone for decades-old attitudes and worldviews, when positive change should be commended.

Not you, since your comment was in jest, but I question the motives of those think that way unironically.

monkeyslikebananas2 ,

All good.

histic ,

Yes

tetris11 ,
@tetris11@lemmy.ml avatar

I was a mix of Kenny and Scott Malkinson

IphtashuFitz ,

You died every week (from diabetes)?

Coasting0942 ,

At least she didn’t hire a private investigator.

A human hunting for you can be pretty effective.

Steamymoomilk ,
@Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works avatar

Worlds most dangerous game

hayes_ ,

Jai alai?

possiblylinux127 ,
@possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip avatar

What a strange book

Steamymoomilk ,
@Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works avatar

Indeed,
The author was a bit of a nut

jsomae ,

Scary to think what will happen when AI can automate that.

possiblylinux127 ,
@possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip avatar

It seems better than having the FBI track you down (not that they need too as they track all of us all the time)

belated_frog_pants ,

I would be pissed and just say "that was on purpose, fuck you".

possiblylinux127 ,
@possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip avatar

Or you could not be a dick

belated_frog_pants ,

Hunting down someone and calling them at their place of work is the dick here. Thats crazy. Leave people alone if they are hard to find. Someones privacy isnt someone elses sherlock holmes moment.

OPs invader sounds like someone who peaked in HS and cant let it go.

weker01 ,

Someone is putting a lot of work into including/inviting you.

Yea my first respond would also totally be: "Fuck that person in particular" /s

barbara , (edited )

It may not always be good to be invisible. You could make a website for yourself sich that people can find you and contact you. You can tgen decide if you want to write back. E.g a mastodon account would be enough. You don't gave to blog with that acc.

JimboDHimbo ,

Personally, I think being impervious to damage is a great thing 😂

barbara ,

Shit 😂

Etterra ,

Luckily I hated everyone in highschool and they never bothered me again once I left. If this has happened to me I'd have laughed in their face.

Phegan ,

I've been told by classmates that I am on the "unable to track down" list for my school.

Kanzar ,

That you have kept in touch means the school didn't try hard... 😂

delirious_owl ,
@delirious_owl@discuss.online avatar

Is it really an issue that people can contact you? Its not really an issue of privacy if all they can do is contact you..

BreakDecks ,

They would need your contact info for that...

delirious_owl ,
@delirious_owl@discuss.online avatar

I don't want corporations to see what I buy, what news I read, or see a trace of my GPS coordinates.

I do want former colleagues and friends to be able to find my email address...

BreakDecks ,

Then give it to them. Address books, physical and digital, are nothing new.

Some of us don't want just anyone with something to say showing up in our inboxes.

mattreb ,

I kinda agree with you, being impossible to contact is probably unachievable in today society...Isn't it more important to avoid sharing more personal information, like your exact location history with Google? (or pls explain me the downvotes)

delirious_owl ,
@delirious_owl@discuss.online avatar

Well I'm saying I want to be contactable. I've moved many times in my life, and I don't want to loose contact with old lovers, friends, and colleagues.

Isn't it wonderful when an old friend sends you a message and you get to catch up?

FarFarAway ,

Well, at least you were wanted.

I'm pretty sure they called my cell all week during work hours. Place had horrible reception so if the call came through at all, i couldnt answer cause well, im at work.

But nobody ever left a message so shrug

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