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Shardikprime ,

You have to go weast and Nouth

ArcaneSlime ,

Sounds like the head office is in SE London but you'll be inspecting areas on the NW side for fire safety adherence, right?

If so, it isn't like the businesses can bring their whole business down to the office for inspection. I bet "Steve" has the area close to the office but "Jane" just quit and they need someone to cover her old area.

LifeInMultipleChoice ,

This reminds me of the description of why field positions are listed under remote jobs to often. Yes, the reason I was searching for remote jobs was so I can travel to your remote locations all throughout the day, not because my vehicle has 230,000 miles on it and I can't afford to replace it at the moment.

ArcaneSlime ,

Sure, but then you're not looking for jobs like "Fire Risk Assessor" which clearly indicates you'll have to travel to sites and Assess their Risk of Fire on site, so you could safely scroll past something like that and look for something like "Remote Computer Doer" that at least indicates it's probably remote computer type stuff.

boatsnhos931 ,

Bloody ell mate, u ad to read all the way to the bott um. Bunch o wankers that bunch

don ,

bunch lot

SrTobi ,

Is 48800 enough to live jn London?

NickwithaC OP ,
@NickwithaC@lemmy.world avatar

Yes. Even £20,000 is liveable in London although if you really want to maximise your London experience you'll want more than that.

Swedneck ,
@Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

if you really want to maximize your london experience you should rent a closet in a hallway for £5000 per month

Shardikprime ,

Broom experience, Requiem

PumaStoleMyBluff ,

It does qualify for the city's Living Rent program

Etterra ,

Search: part time jobs

  • Results: part time job!
  • Fine print: full time job, some overtime mandatory

Search: work from home

  • Some office time required

Search: job at a place

  • Travel required up to 50 miles

Search: one way international flight ticket Boeing planes only

Crabhands ,
@Crabhands@lemmy.ml avatar

All of these. Also...language: English
*Mandarion/French/etc required

Xatolos ,
@Xatolos@reddthat.com avatar

Entry level: Minimum 2 years experience

echodot ,

I once made the mistake of saying I was willing to relocate, like to a different city or something, and they took that to mean anywhere on the planet. And all the jobs they were asking me about when weird places like Saudi Arabia, and it wasn't even well paid.

SpaceCowboy ,
@SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca avatar

But there were probably benefits like if you work hard they might give you your passport back. Maybe.

JackbyDev ,

That sounds like a good way to get trafficked lol

istanbullu ,

copy paste error

w3dd1e ,

My favorite is when the title says remote or local to you, but then the body of the posting says you would be required to relocate and that it was intentionally posted in multiple cities to reach a wider audience.

If I wanted to work in Minnesota, I would have searched for jobs in Minnesota.

M0oP0o ,
@M0oP0o@mander.xyz avatar

Hey at least it is in the same city, I used to get ones for 2000 Km away.

echodot ,

Well, it's all Earth.

EffortlessEffluvium ,

I await the ones for the Moon or Mars…

smeenz ,

Applicant must be willing to relocate to the Barnard's star system but will also be required in the London office 3 days a week

EffortlessEffluvium ,

Thank Zaphod the Hyperspace Bypass is on schedule!

Longpork3 ,

I often stumble across jobs in Antarctica listed in my region. It's right there in the headline, so its easy to skip over them, but i have to wonder, how else would you advertise for jobs in remote locations where most people wouldn't even think to look?

M0oP0o ,
@M0oP0o@mander.xyz avatar

Its funny at that point of my life I would have moved for the right job, but these where often my literal job but in a worse place.

Manalith ,

I hae the ones that are listed as remote, but when you read deeper it says remote - in x location, if there was a way to filter those out of searches, it would be convenient.

echodot ,

Is that the ones where they claim it's remote but really they need you in the office 3 days a week?

_number8_ ,

why does everyone have to have "excellent" skills? just logically not everyone can have excellent skills, or there wouldn't be excellent skills. i very much doubt everyone currently working there also has equally "excellent" skills. you can't just say you have to be perfect. i fucking hate this shit

WolfLink ,

It’s just marketing.

It’s like how a 7 or 8 out of 10 movie should mean it’s really great, but actually means it was just “ok”.

We like the idea that we are getting something above average, which ends up with a skewed idea of what average is.

Dkarma ,

It's not even that. If they ask for average they get trash. If they ask for excellent then trash doesn't apply and they get average

Zorque ,

Or the trash with excellent ability to lie their ass off applies.

Shardikprime ,

At least they are good at lying their ass off!

vithigar ,

In fairness to requiring "excellence", I'd imagine most professionals have excellent skills in their field compared to the average person.

Malfeasant ,

I've worked a lot of different jobs over the years, some well in my skill set, some well outside, and if there's one thing I've noticed, it's that with very few exceptions, knowledge and skills matter very little, what matters most is sucking up to the boss, a skill I am exceedingly bad at. Interestingly enough, one of the jobs where skill mattered most was construction, even when I worked for my uncle, he barely cut me any breaks. He once said "you hammer like old people fuck". Not to mention the number of times he yelled at me because I was shit with a tape measure. "Cut it 3 times and it's still too short". Yeah nepotism didn't help me there.

WarlordSdocy ,

What I hate more are the entry level jobs that will be like that. Like bro it's an entry level job and you're expecting people to have a super deep understanding makes no sense. Like I get it's just marketing and a way to lower the number of applicants to get just the really good ones but it makes it so much harder to figure out what level of skill a job is looking for if they all say they want experts with certain skills or tools.

Doxatek ,

Yeah at my job at the end of each week my boss will assign priorities to tasks as not priority to high priority. She'll change them around and discuss why for about 45 minutes and by the end of the meeting every single task is listed as highest priority every week. If everything is always equally the highest priority is anything a priority anymore? Lol

Mango ,

This isn't just super common either. It's the fucking norm, and the guys who are deviating from the norm are the ones who just plain don't tell you where they are.

ThunderWhiskers ,
@ThunderWhiskers@lemmy.world avatar

WTF are demonstrable analytical skills?

partial_accumen ,

The ability to call out BS or contradictory requirements in a job posting.

KingJalopy ,

You're hired!

mesamunefire ,

My favorite is the remote - location jobs. Almost none of them are actually remote, they just want more people to apply so their quota will be met.

HootinNHollerin , (edited )

This is a huge problem. During my several months of job searching that drove me nuts. Completely different stated in the US. Someone’s opposite side of the country. I would report them to LinkedIn and LinkedIn said there’s nothing wrong. Fucked up LinkedIn

ConHoliousDonFrankle ,
Reverendender ,
@Reverendender@sh.itjust.works avatar

I have to use my hands to finger?! F this nonsense, I'm out.

KingJalopy ,

Toe fuck or get fucked.

explodicle ,

It's a barely legal attempt to scare away people with disabilities, which scares me away too.

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